Heard at the breakfast table this morning

My kids and I were at the breakfast table early this morning, eating cereal and chatting about those things that most interest a 6-year-old girl and 4-year-old boy, when my daughter began prattling on about her new secret diary, and after a few moments it became clear she was lording it over her younger brother, who has no such secret.

My son Tyler, who is becoming very much his own person these days, suffered this indignity with grace as long as he could before interjecting, "Katrina, I don't have a secret diarrhea, and I don't think I want one." To which Katrina replied in a confidential whisper, "Tyler, I have a secret diary, not diarrhea. Diarrhea is hard to keep secret because it's so noisy."