Thursday, February 02, 2006

John Bolton: Jingoist in search of a jihad

John Bolton, George Bush's hand-picked U.N. ambassador and self-imagined "irresistible force" wrangling with the "immovable object" that is the United Nations, opened his first meeting as head of the Security Council at 10 a.m. sharp on Thursday -- and was enraged to find no other diplomats in attendance.

"I brought the gavel down at 10. I was the only one in the room," Bolton said. The United States has just assumed the rotating presidency of the 15-nation council for the month of February.

"I believe in discipline. I think daily briefings constitute a form of intellectual discipline. Starting on time is a form of discipline," Bolton told reporters. "I failed today."

"I took a list of when they (council members) came in," Bolton said. "We started just before 10:15." Ever the optimist, he concluded, "On the plus side, the first fifteen minutes of the meeting were immensely productive: with only me in attendance I covered 13 agenda items with limited discussion and minor quibbling, mostly of a technical or procedural nature."

"Corporal punishment is what these council members need -- a good hard butt-racking would see them in chambers on time!"


Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about cartoon parody of Brokeback Mountain at


12:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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6:22 AM  

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