Friday, December 07, 2012

"It's just a flesh wound!"

This could very well be a melancholy iPad first, and not one I am particularly proud of. I arrived home this evening to find my son Tyler enjoying his reward for completing homework, reading, and a bath well before bedtime: a few minutes with his favorite game du jour, Glu Games Dragon Slayer. But he was doing furious on-screen battle with … his pinkies. And losing handily, it must be said.

I asked if this pinkie assault were some new cheat or feint to befuddle the dragons or the game mechanics and he looked at me solemnly, held up both index fingers, and I was shocked to see a layer or two of skin missing from the tip of each.

Now, the iPad screen remains a fairly frictionless surface until heated to a couple hundred degrees by the frenzied jabbing, swiping, slashing, and tapping of two small, unsuspecting fingertips, a device defect which, significantly -- dangerously -- is not disclosed in the product documentation, as my newly-retained legal counsel will make clear should Apple decide against settling out of court for a few more iPads, MacBook Pros, software packages, etc.